You’re Nigerian…

I was doing wall sits this morning (5 sets of 1-minute each) and of course, random thoughts were going through my head…what else do you do when your thigh muscles feel like jelly? What stuck out was a collection of random behavioral patterns that are so inherently Nigerian, that they are normal to us. It was amusing to me and I kept adding to the list as the day went on…here’s to dusting off the cobwebs on here…and incidentally, it’s also spring ^_^

You have a full-time job…and a full-time side hustle. No, you don’t have more hours in the day than you know what to do with. You’re Nigerian

Oya time for work and you’re up by 4am, on the road by 5am. No oh, the energizer bunny is not your middle name. You’re Nigerian

You go to a foreign land where most people don’t make it past high school, but look at you getting all those acceptance letters and scholarships from Ivy league colleges. You don’t have two heads, you’re Nigerian 

There’s a queue, but you decide to jump it. Do they know who you are? You’re not uncivilised. You’re Nigerian…and a sharp one at that

At the first sign of danger, everyone is looking to find the source, but you? Chill, where did you disappear to? You’re not a coward, you’re Nigerian 

Someone invites you to a party/gathering and your first thoughts are “is there food?” “Will I have to pay?” You’re not greedy, you’re Nigerian 

People in other countries are carrying National pride on top their head, but you’re always on the lookout for a way out. You’re not unpatriotic, you’re Nigerian

You pass the scene of an accident, but you think twice before helping, if you even do at all. You’re not wicked, you’re Nigerian

You have something good happening / about to happen to you, but you keep it low(est) key. You’re not being negative, you’re Nigerian 

Poverty, sickness, corruption and violence around you, but every Friday night, turn-up and Saturdays are for owambes. You’re not desensitised, you’re Nigerian 

Businesses are packing up shop, but you go and chook your head there because, business opportunity. Wallahi, you’re not delusional, you’re Nigerian 

You already have kids, but let’s talk about sex and you fall all the way back. You’re not a prude, you’re Nigerian 

You don’t know the couple, you were not invited, but somehow you’re at the wedding party, even decked out in the aso-ebi. Gate-crash? No o! You’re Nigerian