This shade of brown is called leaving my comfort zone and exploring myself. Been having feelings ranging from overwhelming to anxiety to fear with occasional bursts of excitement. The last time I felt this way was when I opted out of a scholarship for my master’s and chose a program I had to pay for.
Now, I’d have thought that knowing how well that risk worked out would give me more peace of mind about my next move. If only. Instead, I’ve been feeling like I’m stuck in limbo. I like routine and structure, but now all of that has been turned upside down. Typically, I like planning things out ahead, but now I can’t even say where I’ll be living or what I’ll be doing a few weeks from now. Struggling with praying and understanding if what I’m doing is as His will for me or just me going out on my own (scary thought).
…then somewhere in the back of my mind, I’m thinking that this is a journey I need to go through to learn to trust in Him more. Learning to let go of all the plans I like to make and letting God lead me to His. That has been sort of calming and I just need my mind to fully catch up to it. So now, as my partner has been telling me, I’m just going to embrace the change with a determination to enjoy every step of the journey by God’s grace.
By the way, saw this the other day and it really struck a chord with me.
differentshadesofbrown 