I’ve been feeling nostalgic a lot lately and I thought it’s because I was about to have a baby…but now I’m beginning to think that it’s because I’m afraid of what the future holds. Usually, I can consider possible outcomes and work out possible solutions for them, but now the number of unknowns is more than I can wrap my mind around. I panic more now because it’s not just my life I have to consider, but also my child’s.
I want to have faith. I want to be still and know that God that has seen me through so far will continue to see us through. But, I’ve not been winning that battle. My heart still beats a little too fast…my mind won’t stay still and there is a lump in my throat.
I’m beginning to question who I am as a person…the choices I’ve made. Father Lord, please make it all make sense.
differentshadesofbrown 